“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward” – Steve Maraboli
Letting go has always been so hard for me. Ever since I was a child, I have attached myself to people or things. It became more prominent when my mother was diagnose with cancer. I felt like it was my job to keep it together, to push for answers, to have control.
But what happens when you're not in control because you've let your guard down and someone lets you go? It's hard.
I guess at some point in my life I had to learn what that meant. To go through a break up and all of the emotions one feels when someone breaks up with you. It’s so much easier to be one to break things off, to remove yourself [from whatever situation], and it’s so much harder to be on the receiving end of that break up.
I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason and you learn from the circumstances. Thinking about it, I have protected myself so much that I never allowed myself to be the one to be let go, to be the one on the receiving end of a break up. There is a tremendous amount of guilt on my part. Is this normal? At 32 years old, I don’t know what I am suppose to feel. I do know, that this is a learning experience, that I am where I need to be. I also know that this is an opportunity to become a better person, friend, daughter, companion. That just because people walk out of our life doesn’t mean it is forever.
I write this to let out my emotions, my truth. Because writing about it makes it real, less painful and allows me to process the emotions.